Can't take it anymore!!!!

I can't take it anymore!! I don't know what i do to deserve some of my kids treating me a certain way. I know for the last 4 years I have had to show myself in a different light to my kids. Discipline in different ways than in the past. I just don't know where my kids get off talking to me the way they do. It has gotten better, but my youngest is a horrible. I get to the point I don't understand. I have screamed... that doesn't work, talked to him ... that doesn't work...... spanked him that doesn't work........... what is it. I don't deserve it anymore. The last week has been hell!!!Every time he comes home from his dad for a long stay of his 5 days.... he does this. Like I said it is a lot better and its not all the time like before. I have been trying to spend more time with each one..... I try to emotionally talk and be there more..... I try to sit and hold them more.......... I just don't understand. What did I do wrong and where. The last week me and my husband have gone to bed mad at each other. I haven't done that ever with him in the last 4 years. Did us getting married just change our whole relationship??? I feel I try and try to pick myself up, but I keep getting kicked by someone. I know its something I have to work on and its a reflection of myself. I just don't know what it is. Every morning for the past 4 years its like pulling teeth to get my 2 little ones out of bed. My day starts off so bad!! It starts theirs off bad. I know they don't want to get up. They rather sleep, but that isn't happening. I start goofing off, playing with them!!! Then gets to point of yelling and pulling them out by their hair. Why Why Why do I have to go through this ????? I try and be strong , but today I broke down. I feel like a failure with my kids , I feel I don't care if another marriage fails, its not worth fighting with him. To me its wasted energy. Maybe I did marry to soon, but you know its sad because over all ............. the kids get along good. To have 6 boys from 10-15 not kill each other is amazing. If my marriage goes down its because of me and him not dealing. We have always communicated very well. What has happened I ask ......something went wrong and I feel I don't have the strength to fix it. I don't know why. I just am trying to pick up my pieces of my life and my career. I have kids going crazy again. Like I said What is it that I need to work on myself. I know its still boundries............ but I can't go on yelling and screaming anymore. I have tried to find different ways to work this out, but nothing is working and I am at my end and feel like I just don't care.