Learning boundries...... I think

Well I will say yesterday was a rough emotional day. I was trying to really pin point the reasoning. I felt like I zombie walking around with no emotion on my face and in my heart. So..... I start asking myself what is it that needs out.... I ask myself.. What am I dealing with. Lets start with my mom. I always thought when my mom and dad were together that she was under his control and she didn't like it. Meaning he was very controling and she would go weeks on end and not call or talk to anyone. I always thought she did this because of not wanting to stir up trouble with my father. (long story) Anyways, my parents have been apart for about 2 years and I have seen ( and my sisters see) that she has fallen under my brothers control. My brother is 10 times worse than my father and she is in that need to be controlled and my brother uses her for so much. She can't see it and it hurts. What can I do . I had enough and my sisters have had enough. I had to write to her and tell her I am her if she needs help but I don't except what she is doing to me, my kids , my sisters and my niece and nephew. Ok so I ask this sure sounds like boundries to me. Setting them with my mother. Next I have issues with my childrens school ( the last month). I put them into a new school this year which toke alot of planning to do so. My 2 boys struggle in school with reading disablities and they were very frustrated and not learning in the school system. I found a school that they could learn in a small group and even be on the ice during the day. Perfect I thought. Well I have and many have an issue with one of the teachers. She is disrespectful to the kids over and over. Her son goes there and si never accoutable for anything. So here I am again this week setting boundries with the school letting them know I don't except what they are doing to my kids and others. Even though she does no wrong in her eyes and the guy who runs the school. He doesn't want to jump in the fire and hire a new teacher. Its easier for him to stand by her side and deal with it. All I can do is stand up for my kids and know that I am doing the right thing. My kids would be very upset if I had to take them out, but I get sick of listening to how bad this teacher is. I am hoping oneday she will get what she deserves and fired. They are about making the kids accountable for their actions ,but she can do whatever. So I am not usually a parent that complains and bitches , but I have fallen under that catagoy in their eyes now. OK so that was another boundry this week now........ I just got my ring back after 7weeks of them fixing( yes my wedding ring) and now that I really look at it the diamond is blurry very blurry. That is what they put back in my ring because it had a defect and the diamond fell out 2 times in 6mos and they replace it with a blurry blue diamond. Here again I don't like to confront and bitch about stuff. I have to do it again. I think I am getting it!!!!BOUNDRIES where does that come into play with me building my career??? I am not sure but there is one more thing that was brought to my attention yeseterday while I was listening to CD 1. That little ego. I figured out why I didn't want to go out and get a waitress job intill I get my feet wet and my real dream takes off!!! Its my ego what will people think of me....... the personal trainer that used to be so busy, had tons of clients, taught tons of classes.... desided to start her own thing and now is waiting tables. Why would I want anyone to see me doing that. Yes I actually do like waiting tables but subconciously I must be worried of others. Now that I realize what I was doing its really is dumb!!!! LOL I really don't care what others think. I have to do what I have to do. Ok this was a very long blog needed to vent. I guess this is what blogging is!!! On top of it all I started a detox program 3 days ago and I am sure ................ some of my emotional issues are surfacing from that. We will see what I go through the next 2 weeks , but I am looking forward to it.
I am off to work on my life coach certification for that 1 hr. a day I stated in my action!!!
Then I am going to make that flyer so I can start passing out to those I don't know and do!!!

I am very gratiful to have found this blog. I know this is a way I am going to release those fears hiding in me. It will help me to move forward and jump into the fire. Like David says in the CD sometimes you have to finally say enough is enough and ask for help and that is what I did.
Love and Strength,
Jen


I am going to automatically send this to everyone when I post. If you want me to take your name off of it please let me know.